Relationship.

Hey guys.

Days have been pretty rough for me recently, dealing with the same old shit almost everyday but no doubt that i'm still living and making through all of it. Though i know problems would come day after day, but what's the use of dwelling with the problem when you can just shut up and move on like the other days. The world doesn't stop for me just because i'm suffering alone, it goes on.

Recent problem, Relationship.

Hell yeah, tough decision to make and tough people to please. I really don't know what is up actually, i feel so confused cos i'm still unable to find the answers for everything, its like everyone's mindfreakin' me with their ideas and thoughts. Worse part isn't this, is having someone else to suffer it with you. Someone you adore so much, sharing the same crap with you everyday. Never ending problems just kept on growing,  when will it all be stable and when will people be pleased? I can't even see or sense people supporting this relationship but kept building huge walls around us. They don't think so, but i think freakin' so. Fact is, i hate this part so much.

Sometimes i always get so desperate to want to rant out everything, but i can't just because i'm angry. When i get angry, my anger would turn into tears and i'll be saying words that doesn't even make any sense. I know i get pretty pissed off when people try talking to me about my wrong doings, i wouldn't be able to cool down but have that desire to scream out every words i wanna say. Knowing the fact that there are people around me caring for me so much, it touches me a lot but when it comes to serious problems, they wouldn't be able to differentiate between caring and controlling anymore. 

How in the mother world am i supposed to survive all these?

I wanna take my time to know that special someone, it is a good start isn't it? Like we'll be able to understand each other and things would work out. Love isn't a bed of roses, sometimes we need a little bit of sacrifice. There will be fights and shitty problems but with both parties solving this together, it'll all start making sense. I've never been so comfortable with someone before, now that person has already appeared but people are somehow building the walls around us slowly. I can say it out loud that i dislike it, i can say it out loud that i hate this so much. But what can i do? All i can do is just let time pass and see what the outcome would be like. But i'm afraid, it'll be a little too late. 

What if i couldn't prove how much he means to me? What if it all settles down but things change and one person starts leaving? Time will tell, but time will also let things fade away slowly.

Being a paranoid bitch here, ohwell. 

Whatever it is, i'm not letting go. Whether people are going to build the Great Wall of China, i'm still in for the fight. I don't wanna give up anymore i guess, i'm simply just too tired. Moreover, i'll never find someone like him anymore. He is just a rare breed i supposed, one of a kind asshole i love so much. Whatever people wants us to prove, i'll gladly bring in all the proves and evidence and make them be speechless one day. I'm still keeping the Faith, let's do this.

God make the decision for us, not man.