The past.

Hey guys.

Have you ever wonder how your life would be like if you took a different path in the past?

Well, i have been thinking a lot about this and somehow it always gets me curious if my life would have been better or worse if i took a different route. I can never imagine how exciting life was few years back, i just love it so much but at the same time, it wasn't quite of a good decision i was making. Many people was holding me back to all the rebellious actions i'm making everytime, even me myself didn't realize all the wrongs i'm actually doing. I was just living my life each day happily but didn't realize how many people were suffering cos of me, all the good things seems to be kept away from my eyes. Honestly, i still do have a kind heart. Just that bad things are making their way to cover me from being myself, i was just someone everyone couldn't recognise at all.

Everyone knows how Secondary School works. You just gotta gain some 'awesome' friends then boooom, you're liked by others. I was blinded by how much i wanna be known in school, my intention was to look cool infront of other students. It did happened for a period of time, where i know many 'high-up' people. I was such an asshole cos i wasn't afraid of much people and would always wanna fight back when people play the staring game with me, desperate for a fight but was afraid to be hurt. Some people hanged out with me with the same intention as mine, it was a bad idea. I didn't realize how much of good things i was missing out, people who used to care, left. Soon after all the tragedy, life started to teach me the hard way cos i refuse to learn it the easy way.

 I thought they were all not my real friends, like how i assumed they always bitch about me behind my back. Always trying to find all the damn reasons why the hell was people leaving me one by one. Next thing i know, things started to deteriorate real bad. Soon came to notice that one by one, everyone went against me. Like how i use to follow someone and always thought she was my best friend, i got betrayed countless of times. Always getting shit from everyone every single day and not knowing i was actually being used like a bitch, it isn't something pleasant to remember about. Soon after shit happens, i lose everyone. I was on my own, but there was still people around me caring for me and they were the ones i pushed away back then. They stayed all the way, and never left. I thought to myself : Why did they come back to me when i was treating them this way?

The heartbrokenness from the past was unbearable, i gained many friends and lost many friends as well. I thought Secondary School would have been an awesome one, but i screwed it all up with my own mindset thinking i could have a higher identity. So many things happened in the past, be it good or bad. I learned so much from it and somehow it seems so funny to me now when i'm bringing back those memories, took the whole experience with me along till now. I can proudly say that i've changed to being myself again, because i believe God has sent people into my life to change me. Where i am now, such good place surrounded with real awesome friends. I can never ask for more, i can never want a dull path i use to walk to be in my life again. Things seems bright for me now, but there will be bad encounters everyday. Its something to learn from and not let it go with you to the future, you're supposed to bind them up and let bygones be bygones.

Know who your true friends are, be around with more positive and good people cos they are the ones who brings out the best in you. I'm not saying bad companies are invaded with bad people, that is just a label people put on them because of the things they see them doing. Just so you know, i've seen everything. Just because they're always hanging out in big groups and is covered with tattoos all over, doesn't mean they're the bad ones. If only people could see what kind of person they really are, they wouldn't be this way. Is because they are always being judged when someone sees the bad things they did, people never find the good in them. This is why i hate it when my parents said that they are not good people, deep down inside them there still lives a person who is still kind at heart. Never ever judge a book by its cover, people change cos of past experiences.

You'll never know one's story, until they tell you.

(You Don't Say)

“When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.”
- William Arthur Ward