Hey guys.
If you followed me on Twitter, you should know by now that i was down with a fever for the past few days with a massive, unbearable tonsils infection. It may sound like some common feverish thing but trust me, it is probably the worse pain i've ever felt in my whole life. Last week was awesome until i started snacking like a boss for that few days, i didn't know it'll affect me so much in the end. Maybe my confidence was a little to high cos i was never sick after i was infected by H1N1 4 years ago, their medication made my immune system too good to be true till i have to beg God to make me sick again to lose weight(i know right). For 4 years i was healthy and was sick-free, till one fine day my prayer was fulfilled and i realized how miserable it was. Moreover, i didn't expect my fever and tonsils infection to be such a bitch. Moral of the story, i reap what i sow. Everyday was a misery, suffocating myself with porridge for all my meals. Imagine how tough it was to constantly have to swallow your food and saliva, the pain is indescribable. Rolling in the misery, dying of pain, angsty cos it hurts so much.
Well, my temperature was going up and down everytime i took it. First i was feeling okay, then next thing i know, the fever came back again. Sleeping seems to be the best solution for me, i wouldn't have to feel the pain in my tonsils. Waking up was the hardest part, dry throat and dry wound in my mouth. I seriously don't know what can ever cure me, i've taken so much of medication and none of it seems to work on me. A friend told me that this infection would last for a week or so, like how in the mother's world am i ever gonna endure this pain till then? Crying every night and cursing everything in my way, cos i was in so much of pain. Feels like no one in my family can understand how miserable i was, they just thought that medication can really heal the shit outta me. No idea why i prayed for something so small but received back the whole damn package, what sorcery is this man. Tonsils infection seems to be taking such a long time to heal, i should just kill myself instead since nothing works.
But of cos, i didn't let my sickness to refrain me from doing my physical training. It is a New Year resolution to fulfill back my healthy lifestyle again, didn't work out my muscles for a long time and i feel so drained out always. Thank God i got myself a good bunch of motivators around me and a good bunch of training mates to keep me going. I guess i miss how active i was in sports in the past, now i have to restart everything and build up my stamina again. I wanna lose some weight and be healthy again, best of the best is to stop scumbag people from laughing at me. Past 2 days i was working out with a few of my awesome friends despite feeling so sick and drained, feels really good having to perspire so much cos i felt better after that. Of cos my tonsils didn't give me a chance, it was being a bitch every seconds and minutes. I even tried eating healthier food like steam fish and what not, but it made my throat more unbearable cos its still a solid food after all. I can only depend on liquid that's why i spammed Honey Lemon Drink for the past few days, the toilet was my best friend.
My physical training will last for 4 months till i go back to school(if i'm able to get in). By then i really hope that my goal weight will be achieved, i need to go back to where i was before. Being so active in sports and gym, my body is soon to fail and i can't let it deteriorate more. I swore upon my life never to pray for such things ever again, i should pray more on being healthy and more abundance of motivation. First day of training was on Tuesday, yes i felt like shit. Imagine climbing up the hill in Bukit Timah, i might as well just walk upside down cos the slope is so steep till i can die but i'm happy to have made it through after all thanks to all my friends who was with me during my training. Gotta brain-storm more on the venue to exercise for the next upcoming days, no more lazy Patricia. 10kg seems to be impossible, but i'm believing that i can do it cos i'm really desperate to lose those pounds.
I'm really thankful to have such great motivational friends around me, without them i wouldn't be so inspired to go back to training myself. I lack discipline in my life so much after i stop school and started working, everything crumbled down so fast. So right now, i wanna take this time to boost up my stamina again so i can run more and more without stopping. Seems like its almost impossible to do such things, but i'm still have that much of Faith burning in me. Moreover, i can motivate my other friends to join me in my physical training journey. To be able to wear nice clothes and not be so insecure like i've always been, in 4 months i'll be able to accomplish this. No more being drained, no more feeling unhealthy, no more being insecure, but more confidence and better self-esteem. Last but not the least, thank you everyone who made this physical training possible. Without each one of you, my confidence level would have dropped each day. Let's do this together!
You want me to do something, tell me i can't do it.
- Maya Angelou
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