The changes.

Hey guys.

It has been a pretty long time since i updated my blog, have been pretty busy with stuff lately. Kinda hard to find my own quiet time to do my own things since i'm mostly occupied most of the days, guess i can finally find a good timing to post an entry i think is relevant in my life right now. I know most of my readers will be or will not be interested to know what's going on but i just had to blog about it since there's nothing else i could possibly think of. So whoever's reading this, please bear with me for awhile and hear my side of story. You might be going through the same thing as i am, cos this problem is the most common thing among young adults like us.

Well, i can say that i hasn't have had any joyful feelings towards anyone for a long time. Life have been pretty simple for me and of cos there are many people around me that have given me so much of happiness that i thought i couldn't have and i'm really grateful and appreciate them so so much. But one thing that was left out of my mind was having this heart rate increasing moment when you saw someone you had eyes on for a long time. I guess i didn't really care much about observing anyone yet since i've got no time to look around or maybe have someone in mind since i'm kinda tired dealing with certain things at times. But somehow things changed after a period of time, like people started coming into my life and making a great impact in me which i find it pretty amazing. I don't know if its just an admiration i have for him because of his hardwork or because i'm already attracted to him cos of somethings he did which is really sweet and nice. Been observing him for abit, and i don't know if things will be smooth ahead. I don't know if we'll be having a conversation, i don't know if we'll ever have a chance.

Long time ago, i'm easily attracted to guys with black round earring studs and back-combed hair. Like those guys you easier spot at in the clubs or at town area, guys who have a great sense of grooming themselves. But when i got together with one, i soon started to realize how our character didn't really match well at all. Things were just plainly going downhill like there isn't any end to it, regrets and shame just started overwhelming me and i couldn't get out of it. After being in Christ(being a Christian) for awhile, i soon realize how all the things i want are actually not exactly meant for me. There are many things that i couldn't find my way through cos i kept aiming for the things that i want and not need. In the end, the aftermath of wanting everything became everything that haunts me down so badly. And i thought to myself, why did i end up in a path that was not meant for me in the first place? Always having that mindset to get into a relationship that will soon come to an end cos the appearance of that someone was the first priority and not the character. Back then, things were just so wrong and ugly.

Soon after all the dramas in life are over, i started finding the best things i always have in my life but didn't manage to acknowledge it cos of my pride and ego. Indeed, those things were the most beautiful encounter i've ever had. I covered my eyes to all the good things and only opened my eyes to all the things i see at just one glimpse. Now that i know i've lost so much of great opportunities in life, i can never ever let anything be left out from my sight again. I know that i was so foolish in the past not being able to submit well to my leaders in Church, not being able to listen to advices given to me for my own good sake, not being able to let people plant the good things in me. So many things i was raging about cos i've got no idea why would people do this to me, then i started searching for the answers as i grow deeper in the Lord. Some of you guys might not be interested in religious things, but i just wanna share how great this journey in my life has been after i accepted Christ 1 year ago. It made me realize so much of things and how i can change in order to let the good spirit take place in me, i now know the meaning of love better. 

Why my leaders in Church always refrain me from somethings, because they wanna protect me and not let me end up in a difficult position. I soon started to give up my desire in finding all those kind of guys which i'm easily attracted to and started finding the most meaningful things i have in my life. Now the guy that i have been observing recently, he is definitely different from the rest. I don't know what will happen in the future but i'm hoping for a great miracle to take place. His words encourages me, the atmosphere he gave me when i'm around him is so peaceful and joyful. Right now i can't think much of making things happen because is not the right time, and is not the right moment yet. But i'm keeping the Faith that great things will happen eventually. I'm really hoping that in the days to come, pretty and wonderful things will befall on us and great changes will be made. It might take a long time, but as long as i keep things the way it is and let God do all the other work, i'm still believing. I know up ahead for everyone of us is a path we will be happy in, so don't ever give up on what you need.  

  

Start believing and stop doubting.